Gummy bear reviews amazon
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Consumers of Haribo's Gummy Bears post hilarious product reviews on Amazon
Skip to main content This page works best with JavaScript. Disabling it will result in some disabled or missing features. You can still see all customer reviews for the product. Customer Review. Flavor: Gold Bears. After a late night study session I felt confident, but I had to decide between sleeping in or cooking breakfast. My eyelids chose sleep. My stomach later regretted this decision, and after several uncomfortable stomach growls, I finally decided to make a quick stop by the campus bookstore and grab a snack before my test.
Since the semester was ending and everyone was going home for the summer, a lot of items were on sale, including the snacks and candy that they kept up front. Being in the hungry state that I was in, it felt only logical to pick the largest, yet least expensive candy in order to get more bang for my buck.
I would eat one bag before my test, and one bag afterwards. As I walked to class, I gleefully chewed on those abominable little bastards, unaware of the utter mayhem that they would soon unleash upon my poor, poor anus.
I sat down at my desk as the professor informed us that, due to issues with cheating in the past, restroom breaks would be prohibited until the completion of the exam.
Any takers? After the students wise enough to take the professor's offer had returned, the professor handed out the test. I was six questions in when it happened. It started subtly at first, almost like a slight tingly sensation in my lower abdomen.
I thought nothing of it, assuming my intestines were just doing their thang. Little did I know that my intestines were trying desperately to warn me of the horror that was on the horizon. By question 9 it happened again, but this time it was followed by a sharp pain, as if those infernal hellions had orchestrated an attack upon my colon. I fought to contain the groan that tried escaping my lips.
It was at this point I began to panic; something was going horribly long, and I needed to get through this test before it got any worse. By question 14 my worst fear was upon me; the Satan bears' burning, hot, liquidy dark magic crashed against my anal sphincter like a tidal wave.
I was able to close the hatch just in time, but those relentless, toxic bears beat against it like Orcs breaking down the doors of Helm's Deep. I knew I wouldn't be able to so much as shift in my seat without risking a breach. I kept fighting through my exam, clenching my cheeks with all my might.
Beads of sweat began rolling down my neck. Suddenly, a loud, gurgling war cry came from my belly, and the entire class lifted their heads. At this point, nothing mattered except expelling this ungodly presence from my bowels. With 15 questions left, I promptly wrote C for every answer and ran out of the classroom. My professor yelled something, but I was too preoccupied with the volcanic eruption that needed to take place before I could find sweet, sweet relief. I burst into the restroom like the Kool-Aid man and, behold, the handicap stall was empty.
Sun rays from the adjacent window shone upon it, as if it were a gift from God himself. It took me less than. It took absolutely no effort to expel this demon. Almost immediately, the floodgates of hell were opened and the damned, liquified souls of an entire bag's worth of gummi bears cried as they burned through my sphincter and into the watery abyss below.
I had never felt such simultaneous relief and anguish in my life. After 30 more minutes of this, I immediately went home, dug a hole in my backyard, and burned the remaining bag of gummi bears.
Not only did they cause me to fail my final test, but the anguish I experienced is something I wouldn't wish upon anyone, not even my worst enemy.
The only place these god forsaken hell bears belong are buried deep below the Earth's surface. There was a problem loading comments right now. Please try again later. Showing 0 comments. Sort by: Newest Oldest. Product Details. See All Buying Options. Add to Wish List. There's a problem loading this menu right now. Learn more about Amazon Prime. Get free delivery with Amazon Prime.
Customer Review. Luke · out of 5 stars See And there they sat: two bags of Haribo Sugar-Free Gummi Bears, buy one get one free. "What a deal!" I thought. Why on earth would anyone buy these sugar-free bears after reviewers warned not to eat more than 15 at a time "unless you are trying to power.
But as Michael Rusch at Buzzfeed points out, the negative reviews are terrifying enough to keep customers away forever. About reviewers claimed to spend hours in the bathroom after ingesting the bears. Quantities didn't matter—some reviewers claimed they ate a handful, while others consumed entire bags. We've reached out to the company to ask about the claims made by reviewers, and will update if we get a response. Account icon An icon in the shape of a person's head and shoulders.
Discussion in ' Off-topic Discussion ' started by S , Aug 13,
The original Gummi Bears IT'S every product manager's worst nightmare. Consumers of Haribo's new range of sugarless Gummy Bears have posted hilariously graphic reviews of the new sweets on Amazon, detailing the confectionery's laxative properties.
When good gummy bears go bad: Are those gastro-geddon Amazon reviews real?
Photos by Meredith Jenks. There has been lots of talk on the internet about Haribo sugarfree gummy bears and how they make you make shit like a madman. According to these detailed Amazon reviews , just a handful of the bears can cause an immediate evacuation of the gastrointestinal tract. There are 53 pages of reviews on Amazon, each one topping the last with a story of gummy-fueled diarrhea nightmares. That stench is from me, seven years ago.
PSA: You Can Buy A 5-Pound Bag Of All-White Gummy Bears On Amazon
In the words of my good friend Oprah, there are a few things in life I know for sure: Pink Starbursts are infinitely better than yellow and orange, grape is the only Fanta worth drinking, and white gummy bears are without a doubt the best kind of gummy bear. Fight me on the soda thing, but don't even try and argue with me about the gummies. They're so good, I honestly didn't even know they were pineapple flavored—they're just sweet little orbs of goodness, flavor profile be damned. Anywho, this declaration of love is all to tell you that should you feel similarly, you can purchase a five-pound bag of all-white gummy bears on Amazon. This thing of beauty is made by Albanese Candy company. While you may not be familiar with the company, people swear by the brand. One reviewer called them "the sweetest, softest, tastiest gummy treats I've ever had," and another said "they are just the right amount of sweet and sour. If you're not as excited about having a five-pound bag of candy in your house, fair. OR, if you disagree with my gummy bear of choice, there's an all black cherry bag, too.
Many of you are familiar with these colorful German Gummies.
Customer reviews. Write a review.
Why Are These Gummy Bears Making People So Sick?
But I am bound by my journalistic ethics to bring you all the latest news and, this week, gastrointestinal distress is in the news in the form of Haribo Sugarless Gummi Bears and their explosive effects on heretofore innocent colons. To be truthful, this isn't new news. I read the comments on the 5-pound bag of Haribo bears last year and laughed 'til I was suffering from cramps myself. I only said Southern ladies don't discuss toilet habits. Not that we can't laugh about them. But in the past week, several blogs and some legit news sites have written about the hilariously disturbing customer reviews on amazon. The vast majority of the nearly - and counting - reviews for the sugar-free bears on Amazon discuss, in great detail, the disastrous results of eating them. Headings for reviews include:. Unless it's a gift for someone you hate. Some reviews are obviously fictional, like the sugar-free gummy bear wedding day and the one that says: "I bought one order for the Westboro Baptist Church as a donation because we all know how much God hates irregularity. But the reviews that started the trend are real. It makes those 1, pieces with "five real fruit flavors in jewel-like sparkling clear colors" seem somehow less inviting. The Atlantic got in on the Haribo gummy debate and explained from a scientific standpoint that the sugar-free version contains Lycasin, a sugar alcohol. The writer explained: "The known side effects of the excessive consumption of Lycasin are bloating, flatulence, loose stools, and borborygmi, the scientific term for tummy-rumbling.
Amazon Reviews Of Haribo's Sugarless Gummy Bears Are Terrifying
Skip navigation! Colleen Barrett. It's hard to resist a sugar-free promise when it comes to candy, especially if the taste is anywhere near the original. But, as the prolific reviews for Haribo's Sugarless Gummy Bears on Amazon can attest, taste is not everything. In fact, taste isn't really anything when the colorful candies have apparently wreaked havoc on the digestive systems of just about everyone who ever penned a review on the site.
