Amazon sugar free gummy bears review
Came across with these funny and crazy way of reviewing a product and that happens to be an expensive Headphones. I know that there are several products on amazon that are full of thousands of funny reviews like this. I was going to mention the banana slicer, TechMan!! I bought it for my wife one year as a stocking stuffer at Christmas time and thought it would be a good gag gift. She busted out laughing because she had actually read through the reviews!! She made me read them that day and I got a kick out of them!
These Amazon Reviews Of Gummi Bears Are The Funniest Thing You’ll Read All Day
Discussion in ' Off-topic Discussion ' started by S , Aug 13, Log in or Sign up. Which one of the Top 4 did you find the funniest? Aug 13, 1. The Gummi Bear "Cleanse". If you are someone that can tolerate the sugar substitute, enjoy. If you are like the dozens of people that tried my order, RUN!
First of all, for taste I would rate these a 5. So good. Soft, true-to-taste fruit flavors like the sugar variety I was a happy camper. I had a gastrointestinal experience like nothing I've ever imagined. Cramps, sweating, bloating beyond my worst nightmare. I've had food poisoning from some bad shellfish and that was almost like a skip in the park compared to what was going on inside me. Then came the, uh, flatulence.
Heavens to Murgatroyd, the sounds, like trumpets calling the demons back to Hell I couldn't stand to stay in one room for fear of succumbing to my own odors. But wait; there's more. What came out of me felt like someone tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a coffee straw. I swear my sphincters were screaming.
It felt like my delicate starfish was a gaping maw projectile vomiting a torrential flood of toxic waste. Flammable liquid. It was actually a bit humorous for a nanosecond as it was just beyond anything I could imagine possible.
I felt violated when it was over, which I think might have been sometime in the early morning of the next day. There was stuff coming out of me that I ate at my wedding in Silly woman. All of the same for her, and a phone call from her while on the toilet because you kinda end up living in the bathroom for a spell telling me she really wished she would have listened.
I think she was crying. Her sister was skeptical and suspected that we were exaggerating. She works for a construction company, where there are builders, roofers, house painters, landscapers, etc.
Lots of people who generally have limited access to toilets on a given day. I can't imagine where all of those poor men and women pooped that day. I keep envisioning men on roofs, crossing their legs and trying to decide if they can make it down the ladder, or if they should just jump.
If you order these, best of luck to you. And please, don't post a video review during the aftershocks. I'm not a moron. Also, not sure why so many people assume I'm a man.
I am a woman. We poop too. Of course, our poop sparkles and smells like a walk in a meadow of wildflowers. Thanks for all the great comments. I've been enjoying reading them and so glad that the horror show I experienced from snacking on these has at least made some people smile. I talked to my office colleagues and we decided it was the perfect gift for our field crews who complain about us office guys being soft.
We set these out on a Friday, and immediately the guys dug into the sugarless gummy deliciousness. Sadly, it took too long for the affects to set in on that Friday. Apparently by around that night all hell broke loose: Guy 1- "I was at the bar after work with my wife, all of a sudden I felt a extreme warmth over my body, shakiness, and the worst stomach cramps I've ever had.
I hobbled to the bathroom and had barely sat down when I unleashed a rainbow fury of porcelain cracking excrement he didn't say excrement.
I left the bar with my wife for the 9 minute drive home I didn't make it. He spent all day Saturday on his throne and in his recount said his "o-ring" actually got so chapped he was bleeding, and asked if there was some medicine for that. Fast forward to Monday- they haven't figured it out yet Guy 2- "I felt so bloated that I wanted to die, then outta no where my stomach hurt so bad I was almost doubled over.
I tried to get in the bathroom, but it was occupied. I went to the front office bathroom and "kinda made it".
He also spent the day with a wad of TP shoved in his butt crack "just in case". This is when things got bad- My desk is 30' away from the bathroom easy and the stench was just I can't even describe it. Secondhand info from his partner- "Dave farted non-stop from the time he left the office til we go to the jobsite 20 minute drive in a reg cab box truck.
I rolled the window halfway down, and luckily had some gum to get away from the stinch. Dave starts complaining about how bad his stomach messed up, but climbs up to where he needs to be, with guy 3 on the ground.
Dave starts his diagnosis, and then suddenly just stands straight up, looks down at guy 3, and scuttles to the ladder. He made it down 40' ladder in less than 45 seconds and stiff-legged it to the box truck. He had gotten his coveralls off, jeans off, underwear off when it hit. These things are the real deal, eat with caution, or get some revenge on your coworkers.
They were delivered to them in a sealed bag with my own personal warning my body didn't agree with them. The warning is stamped on the back of the bag. These things are basically bagged, multi-colored, little satans. After reading that these little jewels were made in Austria, I imagine a rouge Nazi chemical weapons scientist escaped to austria after the war and set up shop making unsuspecting masses suffer for their defeat.
My experience started like many others, some customer dropped off some bags of these for Christmas, after looking at them for the better part of a month I decided to eat some. The first day I had about of them, that night i experienced some slight discomfort and crazy dreams , but I did not associate it with the demon spawn gummy bears.
The next day, I had about a handful more of these delicious little devils and all hell broke loose. After several short trips to the bathroom and gas noises like I have never heard coming from my stomach before, I decided to head home, but first stop by the store to pick up some antacids. Just as I got inside my local grocery store it hit me, I broke out in a cold sweat, my hands were clammy and the pain from my lower intestine was unreal, it felt as if Satan himself was reaching inside of me and spinning my intestines on his finger.
I was around ten isles away from the back corner where the public bathroom was located when Satan's little helpers let me know I was not going to make it there. I immediately started to walk like I was trying to hold a golf ball between both knees and waddle to the back isle all the time praying I could keep my sphincter closed long enough. Those ten isles might as well been ten miles, it was not going to wait, about this time I spied another pair of doors marked employees only and pushed my way inside.
I saw a small bathroom for employees and went straight to it, all the while a stock boy is trying to stop me and tell me I can't use it.
I stiff arm him from my football days and say in what must have sounded like a demonic voice from hell " I'm sick, back off". To my immediate relief I got the door shut and locked just in time for Mt. St Helen's to blow, Unfortunately ,I was not able to sit fast enough before spraying the back wall and toilet tank with a putrid black paint.
At that exact moment, I did not even care, I was so relieved to have this sewage pouring out of me so violently that I could have levitated off the seat of the toilet if I wasn't holding on to the handicapped bars for dear life, I swear there are probably small dents in the stainless steel bar where my fingers were.
After what seemed like an hour, I felt safe enough to stand and start the long clean up process, to my horror, I looked down to notice two mostly empty rolls of toilet paper. Are you freaking kidding me? This is a grocery store with pallets of toilet paper, right? After several minutes of trying to macgyver a solution, my only option was to ask the poor soul who had been knocking on the bathroom door for the last thirty minutes to please get me some paper.
In retrospect, I should have asked for a dozen boxes of baby wipes as well. After doing my best to clean what I could, I made my hasty retreat.
I never understood how someone could spray fecal mater on a wall until now, clearly they had some of these delicious spawn from hell. I can never go back in this store as I am sure they all have some grainy picture from their video system taped to all the registers, with my picture on it, as the guy who horribly desecrated their beloved employee bathroom.
Thanks Haribo, now I have to shop at the more expensive store down the street, I can never show my face in their again, I am still the guy the new employees get told about to watch for, sorta an Urban legend by now. Read these reviews with skepticism if you must, but if I had seen them they would have saved my three days of my life. I still have some kidney pain but I am making a full recovery. I would not wish these on my worst enemy.
You are warned! Like many of you I have also read these reviews. They are extremely hilarious. As I read, I had tears streaming down my face and laughed so hard that my silent laugh came out. It was one of the best ab workouts I have ever had. But, I was skeptical that they were true. My husband and I even wondered if those reviews we read were a secret creative writing contest.
Customer Review. Luke · out of 5 stars See And there they sat: two bags of Haribo Sugar-Free Gummi Bears, buy one get one free. "What a deal!" I thought. Why on earth would anyone buy these sugar-free bears after reviewers warned not to eat more than 15 at a time "unless you are trying to power.
Photos by Meredith Jenks. There has been lots of talk on the internet about Haribo sugarfree gummy bears and how they make you make shit like a madman. According to these detailed Amazon reviews , just a handful of the bears can cause an immediate evacuation of the gastrointestinal tract. There are 53 pages of reviews on Amazon, each one topping the last with a story of gummy-fueled diarrhea nightmares.
I swear my sphincters were screaming.
But as Michael Rusch at Buzzfeed points out, the negative reviews are terrifying enough to keep customers away forever. About reviewers claimed to spend hours in the bathroom after ingesting the bears. Quantities didn't matter—some reviewers claimed they ate a handful, while others consumed entire bags.
Beware Of The 5 lb. Bag Of Sugarless Gummy Bears On Amazon.com - The Reviews Are Priceless!
Skip navigation! Story from Tech. Amazon reviews are an essential part of the online shopping process. They're what users depend on to let them know if the Snuggie they're considering is truly snuggly. They tell buyers if a package of " unicorn snot " is actually a lot smaller than the picture suggests. They warn against the perils of questionable snacks.
Amazon Reviews Of Haribo's Sugarless Gummy Bears Are Terrifying
Someone who made a verified purchase of a five-pound bag of sugar-free Gummy Bears on Amazon posted one of the funniest reviews I have ever read. Whether it is true or not, I don't know, but it sure is funny. First of all, for taste I would rate these a 5. So good. Soft, true-to-taste fruit flavors like the sugar variety I was a happy camper. Not long after eating about 20 of these all hell broke loose. I had a gastrointestinal experience like nothing I've ever imagined.
Discussion in ' Off-topic Discussion ' started by S , Aug 13,
Many of you are familiar with these colorful German Gummies. Apparently, the sugar free substitute in these delicious bears results in consumers experiencing gastric disasters like no other. Oh man…words cannot express what happened to me after eating these.
