Diet gummy bears amazon reviews
I swear my sphincters were screaming. It felt like my delicate starfish was a gaping maw projectile vomiting a torrential flood of toxic waste. Flammable liquid. Brought them in yesterday morning and a bunch of the guys immediately downed a handful each.
Sugarless Haribo Gummy Bear Reviews On Amazon Are The Most Insane Thing You'll Read Today
I swear my sphincters were screaming. It felt like my delicate starfish was a gaping maw projectile vomiting a torrential flood of toxic waste. Flammable liquid. Brought them in yesterday morning and a bunch of the guys immediately downed a handful each. Within half an hour they were in the bathroom. Best moment of the day was when one of them who had been in the bathroom for half an hour by that point texted one of the others.
Everything previously written is true. It's all true. Don't eat more than 15 in a sitting unless you are trying to power wash your intestines. When the rumbling started I sprinted down the hallway and made it to the bathroom just in time for the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse to stampede from my backside, laying waste to my home's septic system AND my will to live.
After three hours of a pelvis-shaking Gummy Bear assault, I was spongy and weak, surprised that I had any bones left. I cursed Haribo with the little strength I could muster. Fortunately for compression shorts it didn't run down my legs!! Now I had to hold the gas for fear of blowing my entire intestines out into my shorts!! I made it home and what happened then was like something out of Dante's Inferno!!! My butt became an upside down volcano!! Best to stock up on toilet paper and toilet bowl cleaner as you will totally spray the bowl and back of the seat!!
I would no sooner get done and have to go again. When you get the urge to "go" you best be in proximity of toilet!!! I spent hours on the toilet. Streams of fire burst from my colon. When i wasnt experiencing Satans fury exploding from my rear, i was laying in the fetal position on my bathroom floor, sobbing and asking for forgiveness. Im a pound man. When it was finally over, i couldnt move.
I crawled onto the floor one last time and sat, motionless, until my dehydration finally required that i drink water. The other reviews are perfectly accurate. Eat two at a time. Three if you're brave. I've never experienced, or even heard of that happening. It was so unnatural, that I had to check to feel if my colon had somehow passed through the anal sphincter muscle. All I could do was lie on my bed and pray for a fart.
That might sound funny, but when you've eaten something that has basically turned you into the blueberry girl from Willy Wonka, you're pleading for relief. Contact Michael Rusch at weeddude buzzfeed. Got a confidential tip? Submit it here. View Comments. Oops Looks like your browser doesn't support JavaScript.
Customer Review. Luke · out of 5 stars See And there they sat: two bags of Haribo Sugar-Free Gummi Bears, buy one get one free. "What a deal!" I thought. Albanese Confecetionery Sugar Free Assorted Fruit Gummi Bears, 5 Pound Bag He's one of those guys always reading about the effects of food and dieting.
Came across with these funny and crazy way of reviewing a product and that happens to be an expensive Headphones. I know that there are several products on amazon that are full of thousands of funny reviews like this. I was going to mention the banana slicer, TechMan!! I bought it for my wife one year as a stocking stuffer at Christmas time and thought it would be a good gag gift.
Many of you are familiar with these colorful German Gummies. Apparently, the sugar free substitute in these delicious bears results in consumers experiencing gastric disasters like no other.
Photos by Meredith Jenks. There has been lots of talk on the internet about Haribo sugarfree gummy bears and how they make you make shit like a madman. According to these detailed Amazon reviews , just a handful of the bears can cause an immediate evacuation of the gastrointestinal tract.
Amazon Reviews Of Haribo's Sugarless Gummy Bears Are Terrifying
But as Michael Rusch at Buzzfeed points out, the negative reviews are terrifying enough to keep customers away forever. About reviewers claimed to spend hours in the bathroom after ingesting the bears. Quantities didn't matter—some reviewers claimed they ate a handful, while others consumed entire bags. We've reached out to the company to ask about the claims made by reviewers, and will update if we get a response. Account icon An icon in the shape of a person's head and shoulders. It often indicates a user profile.
Sugarless Gummy Bears Are Not Safe for Humans
Skip navigation! Colleen Barrett. It's hard to resist a sugar-free promise when it comes to candy, especially if the taste is anywhere near the original. But, as the prolific reviews for Haribo's Sugarless Gummy Bears on Amazon can attest, taste is not everything. In fact, taste isn't really anything when the colorful candies have apparently wreaked havoc on the digestive systems of just about everyone who ever penned a review on the site. A select little population, we grant you, but that's a lot to say about a food mostly reserved for movies, road trips, and moments of weakness. Yet, as Buzzfeed points out , the candy's Amazon product page has turned into the world's most disgusting creative-writing contest, a place where reviewers try to one-up each other with tales of hour woe. So, we can't help but wonder what's causing, as one Amazon user put it, this "gastrointestinal Armageddon.
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